Journal Day 25

Analysing work seems so obvious, and yet is so hard. I struggle to say the words. I feel they are there. Already said. I can see the work and think it. The thoughts seem too blatant. Too blatant to write down and express to someone. But today I have done extra work, to make up for the work that I don't feel is good enough. I did it quickly, and perhaps not well enough. But I did it to add to the collection, to the overall bigger picture.

My messages project worksheets were lacking. I did a second one, as the project had started strangely with me doing it whilst in Lisbon. The second sheet resembled G.C.S.E work. The ideas were small and basic. They were secondary. That's the way I work. I come up with the thoughts and ideas and then am forced to put them onto paper to show that I had them. We are encouraged to draw to get the ideas, but I normally can't quite do it that way. It doesn't work like that for me. I had tried to do more and to get the ideas onto the page, but I had missed any drawings of what my final piece would be. And so I tried to do that. To use the words that I know work so well for me, and put them with the basic sketches. I also tried to sketch in a way that works for me. One that I am developing. It is the basic quick movements I know and love. They are not beautifully artistic, but I am developing it by using continuous line and fluid movements. Adding small shapes as I go. Essentially freeing the style and my arm up whilst I draw. It's surprising how physical drawing is, and how physical I need to let it be.

The original Gestalt drawing from the first week inspired me; and many a time over the past few weeks I have thought about using the technique in other work. And so I am going to do another one. I have it pinned against my window at the moment. Taped up, allowing the light through. Giving me a big space to work on and draw. Get physical with. It's smaller than the original but I wanted to do it again.

And lastly I looked the work from this project and added more. Developed slightly. Still not 100% as the lecturers may like, but I added more. I improved, and I believe I have done enough and worked enough. I believe I am working as hard as I can really. I am researching and going to galleries. I am reading and drawing. I am trying to concentrate on the projects that play to my strengths and to finish the ones that don't. I am doing enough. I am satisfied.

Abiento x

P.S Plus on a side note to my previous post p.s, do you think it would be possible to do a degree in many countries or many universities? I don't want to start a degree and be tied down to a 3 or 4 year commitment in one town. One town that I don't know with people I don't know while my friends will be moving on. Do you think therefore I could just start anywhere and move on when I finish? Complete somewhere else- anywhere else? That would be cool.